I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
