I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
