I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
