it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
