Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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