mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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