is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
