The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
