he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
