and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
