she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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