i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize