oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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