Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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