Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hello my rib-scented angel!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
