drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Come on in and take your pants off
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