Where is the hickey?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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