WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
