Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
