whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
