You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
