This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
