in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
