Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
