if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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