1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I believe in your delicious
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
