i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
