just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
