Screwed.edu
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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