I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had sex on a roof
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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