I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This house was built for laser tag.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
