Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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