i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
