nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
