very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
