Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do vagina's smell?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
