She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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