ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
