The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
