try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
