apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
