just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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