I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize