Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
