Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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