so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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