What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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