Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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