NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
