Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
