I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize