Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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