pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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