The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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