Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
