like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
