dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
