i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize