I want to make a zoo with you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
